Ok. Story time here gents. (It's a big'n)
So, I start up a match of Insane Boss Rush. First time I ever tried that, on... medium, I think, I got shown... well... who is the boss. So I hadn't tried it since. But since the Jester (and more importantly The Kings Game) came out, I managed to deck myself out in a bunch of new gear. So I'm thinking, "Awesome, now where can I try all this new junk out?" And so I decided I'd try out a game of Insane Boss Rush. Now, I still don't quite know what strategy I should be using, but I figure, throw down a set of auras and a buff beam. Should keep the mobs mostly clear and keep me healed to fight the boss.
But I'm losing focus here. That's not the point of the story. So the first person to join is a level 90 Jester named Shaco. I'm not gonna give his player name out, in case he wouldn't want me to, but I figure Shaco's a potentially popular enough Jester name I can safely use it. Well anyway, we say hi, and get to light chattin'. At some point two more players join. Another Jester and a Barbarian. I was an EV, by the way; my one of two DPS characters. Figured I'd be better off at range.
Sorry, gettin' off track again. So Shaco says he's thinking he's probably the first level 90 Jester, and he's just goin' around with it. Showing it off I suppose. And we're like "Well cool" and "Neat." And he says, "Thanks. Usually I've been getting "Hacker"." We "lol" and such. And we keep talking throughout the match. He says he didn't hack, he just went 20+ hours straight, leveling it. He says he did it at "Plant" and I say what's that and he says "Plantir" and I've never played there so I don't feel the need to correct him, but someone else does anyway. And it goes on, and we're picking off the bosses one by one. I wasn't paying too close attention, everyone was trying to help, but I feel it's pretty safe to say that really he was effectively soloing everything, with how fast it was going. I'm thinking he was just getting a high from showing off. Which is fine, he worked for what he had and was reasonably proud of it. But you know what pride comes before, right?
Well, the match ends and we're all like "good job team,: and we all rush to the forge to see what rewards we got. As I'm looking at my sub-par eagle standard thingy, wondering, "So this is where that comes from. Why is it I see so many people using THIS?" some weapons start popping out of the forge. I figure it's just someone clearing out some junk, but it just keeps happening. As I scan over them, the first one I look at happens to be a transcendent. Well, it doesn't "happen to be," as I keep looking, and they're actually ALL transcendents! And they just keep coming out. It turns out to be Shaco doing this, if you couldn't guess. Well my first reaction to this situation is to back away, rumors of "oh they track hacked weapons," and "I've heard of a guy who got banned just for looking at a hacker," flashing through my head. But also just "these things aren't mine, I don't know if he's intending to give these away or what." I (as well as the other Jester player) try asking the guy what it is he's doing, but he's too busy dropping more and more weapons to answer. But after they keep piling up for a few more seconds, the barbarian caves and rushes in to grab a few. And then more than a few. Actually I'm pretty sure he had his heart set on grabbing as many as he could. But Shaco's noticed now and he says to "wait". The barbarian must have thought to himself "what do I look like, a waiter?" though, and just kept on grabbin'. Shaco tries a couple more times to tell him to "stop" and "don't".
Now, I'm not one who's too interested in taking huge handouts, so at the time I felt the most imperitive thing for me to do was type out something along the lines of "lol, I guess Mario" (this was part of the dude's player name. I guess I don't care as much about protecting his anonymity :P) "doesn't really care for an explanation, he's just decided to get him some of dat." Well during the seconds it took me to type that, more and more items were disapearing, and Shaco's requests were escalating. First to caps, then to including swears. But seeing no signs of "Mario" slowing down, I realized this was only ending one of two ways. At the end of the pile or the end of a boot. Now, I don't host much, (and I'm not a jackass who kicks willy nilly with no explanation) so I've never kicked someone before, but I was deeming this a worthy cause for one. So I hit esc, click the barb portrait, and... fumble around for a couple seconds, looking for the Kick Player button. I believe it was obscured by some text at the time. Who knows. Well Shaco's finally decided to plead to Host for help, with a "DUDE" "KICK HIM" "PLEASE", I think it was. I'd like to think I had managed to click the kick button right as he said "KICK HIM," but I think it might have been more at the "PLEASE".
Then things were silent for a moment. I chime in with some comment about this turning into a downer ending, when the little... incoming voice... notification image pops up. No one had talked (or tried to) with voice chat at any point during the match, but Shaco must have went and found his mic, or something. Now, I normally can't hear a dang thing when people try to use these, but there were several words I won't repeat and some otherwise unintelligible yells definitely audible (if still a bit muffled) coming across from him here. He then went back to text and said "THERE WAS AN ULTIMATE IN THERE". He then explained that it was a really good one too, like a 1 in 1000 one... or something like that. Well, the other guy and I have (probably) never even seen ONE ultimate, so we didn't really know how to console him, so I just tactfully decided to ask "Well what did you expect would happen anyway?" Realizing he probably didn't want to hear that right now, I quickly tried to switch tracks and asked, "So what WERE you trying to do, if I may ask?" Well he says, "just clearing out my inventory," and we leave it at that. We talk about what just happened a bit. He asks if I knew the guys steam name, and in a moment of weakness I look it up and give it to him. I now worry I may some day be considered some sort of accessory to murder, but I guess it's too late now.
Anyway, Shaco eventually finishes emptying his inventory (he was only about halfway done). When he's done, he tells us we can take a few if we see any we want, but to leave the rest. Then HE actually leaves, and me and the last guy just sorta... look at each other and go "lolwut?" Well I grab some decent looking armors, we go back to the tavern, make a cool 180mil each, and then just get out of there. Well not exactly. Actually, the other guy said "Shaco" had invited him to his game, and it turns out I got a friend request as well. But I decided first and foremost I needed to tell the internet this story while it was still fresh in my mind. So I came here, typed it up, posted it, you read it, now you're reading this par... Okay. I really need to learn how to end a story. Pretty sure it needed to end several sentences ago, sorry.
Anyway, thought this was interesting. "Shaco," if you're reading this and you want me to delete it (if we can delete threads) let me know. Thank you all for your time. Good night. See you in the game.